While I wouldn't describe myself as a Michael Bay fan (no amount of special effects spectacle can derail ornery pig logic), I'll be the first to admit that he's good at what he does: if your aim is to produce a fast-paced action extravaganza that's light on reason and causality, but packs a visceral punch then, yeah, you could do worse than having Bay as your director...

The only problem with his approach is that as soon as your head sticks even a single hair outside the Bay pipeline, all the glaring plot holes (previously concealed by the Fusillade of Enormous Explosions) become so apparent it's hard to take the whole thing seriously.

That's what Tom Clancy's H.A.W.X is like.

A gorgeous simcade flyer with a fifth-grader's excuse of a plot and some questionable mechanics, the 2009 Ubisoft Bucharest game straddles the middleground between a genuine labor of love and wasted potential that functions best when you can't spare the time to analyze it.

In the game, you play Major David Crenshaw – U.S. Air Force pilot and leader of the eponymous H.A.W.X squadron (which stands for something so dumb, I won't bother spelling out the acronym). To keep it short, Crenshaw's squadron gets dissolved, so he and his wingmen go work for a PMC, which then (for stupid reasons) picks a fight with the entire continental United States, which (I guess) rekindles Crenshaw's patriotism and makes him switch sides once again.

From the standpoint of writing, H.A.W.X's plot is exceptional only insofar as it Leaves No Cliché Behind. If you enjoy stories that include Saving The President, Disarming The Bomb, Suffering The Obvious Double-Cross or Being Outwitted At Every Turn, Tom Clancy's H.A.W.X has got you covered.

The thing is, though, the overall finish of the game is so nice that – much like in a Michael Bay movie – you don't notice how dumb everything is while you're in it.

Credit where credit's due, Ubisoft Bucharest did a spectacular job programming a sleek, seamless product. In terms of graphics, UI, sound, music and, indeed, anything else that can distract from the writing, H.A.W.X is a wonder to behold.

Much like Ace Combat, the game's backgrounds utilize actual satellite imagery, which makes for an engrossing playground for all the jinking and strafing you'll be doing. The aircraft (of which the game stocks a whopping 67) have very detailed models which range from the expected (your run-of-the-mill F-4s, F-15s, MiG-21s or Su-25s); and the pleasantly surprising (a vast array of Mirages, Saabs, the odd Jaguar or A-6 Intruder); to the truly unique (far as I know, this is the only flight sim that'll let you fly a MiG 1.44, Avenger II or X-29).

The alternate near-future setting is quite neat and well implemented (allowing for the inclusion of unexpected conflicts and settings), the game's weather engine – gorgeous – and the VO work competent, and even likeable, in places (specifically the banter between Crenshaw and his wingmen). Whether you fly from 3rd-person-behind or inside the fully-rendered (!) cockpits, H.A.W.X makes a very good impression.

The same can't be said of the gameplay, however. Leaving aside the usual Ace Combat/simcade tropes (aircraft that carry eighty missiles, missions with superficial limitations, superpowered opponents or fighting hundred-to-one odds), H.A.W.X has two extra gaming mechanics that are poorly constructed and irritating which sour the overall experience.

The first is Assistance OFF mode, which – handily – throws physics (and the "sim" in "simcade") out the window and lets your aircraft execute turns that would incapacitate (or kill) any human pilot and tear the airframe to shreds. To add insult to injury, OFF also locks you into a peculiar 3rd-person camera that sorta follows your aircraft, but off to the side, making controls largely guesswork. And worst of all, OFF is mandatory so – dislike or hate it – there's no getting around its use.

I'm not against a bit of make-believe in a simcade flyer, but Assistance OFF makes every aircraft fly the same which – in a game that takes great pains to differentiate them with statistics, capacities and perks – is a decidedly odd choice. Although I'm not a fan of the other solution for more challenging opponents (excessive health bars and magical abilities) I would have much preferred that to aircraft that can turn 360 degrees in an instant while, somehow, still maintaining supersonic speeds...

The other wart on this otherwise princely Frogfoot is the so-called Enhanced Reality System (ERS), which is a contrived means of attacking certain targets or dodging incoming missiles. When toggled, ERS will draw you hoops to fly through. Do a good enough circus animal act and your target will be hit or a missile dodged...

The thing is, though, in the instances where ERS is enforced, there is no other way of doing either. If a target requires ERS but you choose not to employ it, your attack will miss – even if your approach was valid; if a missile dodge needs it and you leave ERS untouched, you will be struck – even if you jink like mad and deploy flares... It's another cheap ploy to force you to use a mechanic that's simply Not Much Fun – which I count as a double-offense (first, for having a poor mechanic to begin with; and second for forcing the player to use it).

Those aside, H.A.W.X plays like any other (if prettier than average) simcade, with a 19 mission campaign that can be played in (limited) co-op and a (largely defunct, now that Ubisoft has shut down its servers) online multiplayer component that used to offer a team deatchmatch mode.

The game also has experience points you gain for downing enemies and completing objectives, which allow your profile to level up. Higher profile ranks give you access to more aircraft, with aircraft unlocks broken into tiers for campaign or multiplayer play. It's a nice enough addition, but one that gets very grindy at higher levels once you've completed the more straightforward achievements and tasks.

All in all, Tom Clancy's H.A.W.X is what you'd expect of a big-budget Hollywood production: great visuals, superb action and likeable characters mired in a cliché-ridden, trite plot with holes big enough to fly a 747 through. If you enjoy simcades, this one is entertaining enough while it lasts.

Just don't read into it too much: coherence is not its forte.

Try as I might, I couldn't get Print Screen to work with H.A.W.X at all (which is a shame, because the game really is quite pretty). If I ever figure out how to grab screens (or anyone has a suggestion), I'll update the review.