Funny story: evidently, I can't count.

I started writing this last month, thinking the blog's anniversary was earlier than it actually was; then realized the anniversary wasn't for a few more weeks and I actually had to write something else (which brought you reviews for Master of Orion II, Full Throttle and The Technomancer); then figured "well, when the one year does come around, I won't have to write anything new, because – here it is: done and everything"; and then downloaded Cyberpunk 2077's mandatory 2.0 update ahead of the Phantom Liberty release later today and, boy oh boy, is that not what I'll be writing about today...

I don't know about you, but I'm pretty tolerant when it comes to produce: apples, oranges, pomegranates, potatoes – tomatoes or radishes – I like 'em all. For different reasons, to be sure, and on different occasions, but – for the most part – I'm a pretty open-minded pig: I can find something to like about many different fruits and vegetables...

But when I waltz into a grocery store and put down money for a potato — it better still be a potato when I get home. A potato, after all, is what I was in the mood for. A potato is what I wanted to buy.

CDPR's 2.0 update for Cyberpunk is, essentially, a brazen transmutation that turns a tasty, starchy potato into a lump of pure granulated sugar.

In an unprecedented move, the "update" actually changes the base mechanics and very nature of the game, making Cyberpunk 2077 essentially an FPS, retcons inventory items, disrupts character builds, and – on the whole – streamlines what was already a fairly shallow experience.

Clothing? That's just for looks now, with armor values tied solely to cyberware (which leads to hilarious scenarios such as a reinforced elbow joint that has seven times the protection of a bulletproof vest – though, hopefully, not just for your elbow). Crafting? You can make weapons or – mods for weapons. That's it! Mods you put into weapons are permanent (you cannot remove or replace 'em). Iconic weapons can no longer be modded. Grenades and healing items come from a (magically) infinite supply, but can only be used so many times before a cool-down timer (!?) kicks in. And every single skill is either an attack or DPS-adjacent.

Honestly, nothing they introduced in this "update" was needed or (in my case, at least) wanted... And for all the bad decisions, the bugs that have been around since patch 1.6 (like the twitchy car handling or the game spontaneously replacing weapon mods and attachments with inferior versions) remain unadressed.

Don't get me wrong: I was under no illusion that – for all its pretense to the contrary – Cyberpunk was anything but a shooter with dialogue on the side. But, prior to 2.0, I could at least pretend the game had some RPG potential. Now it seems clear the entire undertaking was just a way for CDPR to fund research into mechanics they'd need (such as seamless loading, combat, skills and inventory) for whatever competitive multiplayer garbage they'll be making next hoping to take a bite out of the likes of Overwatch or Fortnite.

Which they are free to do, of course, but before I spend money on their product. Not after. The last time someone did that (meaning you, Hello Games), I stopped playing their game altogether. Know how many free updates No Man's Sky has released? Me neither. I haven't touched it since the bait-and-switch on release.

Deciding what we spend money on is one of the few freedoms we have and, by subverting it, CDPR has made it clear they have no respect for their audience. I have no doubt that whatever they work on next will be visually impressive and competently written, but it's not something I, for one, will be buying. I had hoped Cyberpunk 2077 would be the beginning of a fun, new franchise, but – as it turns out – it's simply where CDPR and me will be parting ways.

As for pigabout.games turning one? I've written 52 articles, trying to strike a balance between games and broader topics, oldies and more recent releases, and as many different genres as I could think of – and that seemed to work (someone actually wrote in, saying they enjoyed reading – yay!); so look for more of the same in the upcoming year.

I've (finally) gotten my trotters on Yakuza: Like A Dragon (which I am slowly, gleefully finishing); Fallout 4 and Heavy Rain, as well as an intriguing Turkish indie by the name of SpaceBourne 2, so look for those reviews in the upcoming months. EgoSoft has also posted that they are working on even more (squee!) content for X4, which I am very excited for. And, yeah, I suppose Phantom Liberty does come out later today... I'm sure it will be everything I hoped. </sarcasm>

The one thing I am sad about is that, by rewriting today's article, my Starfield joke (all about how, maybe, it won't be boring) didn't land... And now that the game's actually out and nearly every reviewer admitted as much, I can hardly bring it up again...

Or can I?

So— Here. We. Go! Year one had one reader (which seems fitting), let's see if we can snag two more in year two (what can I say – I'm ambitious).

Year two of pigabout.games officially.

Begins—