Ever since I played Hidden & Dangerous some 20 years ago, I have been firmly of the opinion that – for whatever reason – game studios from Czechia craft the most atmospheric, true-to-life, historically-accurate worlds. At the same time, though, I also thought their game mechanics are often awkward and too reliant on clumsy "but that's how it would have been" rationalization which forgoes fun in favor of (so called) realism... For better and worse, both those assertions manifest strongly in Warhorse Studio's 2018 action RPG Kingdom Come: Deliverance.

The Great

KC:D puts you in the first-person shoes of a young man named Henry, whose idyllic life in the Bohemian village of Skallitz is upended when history comes knocking (history, in this instance, being played by a band of roving Cumans — Turkic nomads displaced to Hungary by the Mongol invasion of 1237). Through trials and tribulations you rise from humble beginnings to eventually rub shoulders with nobility and take part in an intriguing plot unraveling in the area.

The presentation (graphics, effects, animation and sound) are first-rate, the narrative is solid – thoroughly researched and expertly written – and the acting is some of the best I have seen in years.

As a protagonist, Henry is a breath of fresh air. He has the full range of human emotion and displays it to great effect. He's not some one-liner-spewing boilerplate bot: he's a simple farm lad thrust into a role he is not entirely prepared for. When you see him acting bashful, overjoyed, enamored, stumped or angry ("WHERE'S MY ******* SWORD!?"), you believe it – and easily, at that. And that honest portrayal of humanity extends not only to the leading cast, but to most of the speaking role NPCs. It's a wonderful experience, the likes of which I have not seen since- Well – never, really.

The story is enthralling and entertaining, with a plot heavily rooted in the history of the region and a cast inspired by the real personages of 15th century Bohemia. Which is not to say that some liberties aren't taken, but then – being a work of fiction – KC:D has carte blanche to take as many as it likes.

Some quest design is fantastic, with the devs anticipating a very broad range of player strategies. I've had two favorites in my playthrough so far: infiltrating a camp of bandits and (not) taking part in a horse race.

The bandit camp I snuck into at night, doing a spot of sabotage – knifing the odd Cuman in his sleep – spiking food pots- The usual fare. It was an appropriately tense experience — moreso for the fact that the game's restrictive, drink-based save system had at that point run dry for me, so failure meant restarting a hefty chunk of gameplay... But, once I was done, I got curious if I had overlooked anything and went to read up on the quest online.

As it turned out, I could have spared myself my night-time antics and simply dressed up as a Cuman and strolled into the camp in broad daylight, the devs having had anticipated players more subtle than a your average ninja-pig.

As for the horse race, the game offered at least four solutions to the quest – three of which didn't involve racing. It showed great foresight on the part of whomever was in charge of quest design and was vastly entertaining.

The Meh

A few gems aside, however, most quests were as bland as overboiled potatoes – uniformly of the "fetch" variety, and almost always involving having to travel vast distances to do something mind-numbingly underwhelming (like listen to an NPC or examine an item that will tick the quest progress forward). In fact, the devs seemed to favor extensive travel times so much that it was almost as if they were trying to pad out the play-time of the game and make up for the fact that historical accuracy makes for some fairly mundane, everyday scenarios.

Honestly, so much of your time in KC:D is spent going from place to place that I felt vindicated in picking the sub-heading that I did for this review. If you like horseback riding, you're in luck: in this game you'll do more of it than almost anything else.

The game's mechanics were also fairly commonplace: the same things you've seen since Fallout 3 introduced lockpicking, sneaking, persuasion and theft – only with a whole mess of unnecessary "survival" mechanisms on top.

The Atrocious

Combat. Ugh!

For a game billed as an "action RPG", KC:D has some of the worst combat ever designed. So bad, in fact, that I actively avoided it whenever possible — riding past bandits not out of fear, but simply because I couldn't stomach yet another 5-10 minute back-and-forth slough with an unassuming fencing champ who could counter blows like a mirror and soak up damage like a level boss...

Kingdom Come's combat system is based on the traditional fencing "quadrants" – wherein the opponent's body is divided into four (or in KC:D's case – six) main target areas: the head, four body slashes (overhand left/right, underhand left/right) and a body thrust. It's the way fencing was taught (insofar as any comprehensive learning systems existed, way back when) and the same system that Mount & Blade games utilize – except done badly.

On top of the quadrants, there is a dodge and a riposte (wherein you intercept and counter an opponent's attack in one motion) as well as a block. But where Mount & Blade wisely chose to anchor the direction of your attacks to the keyboard and forgo locking onto one enemy at a time (which – in a melee – could quickly turn fatal), KC:D's devs – for reasons best known to themselves that must've looked good on paper – decided to control direction of attack with the mouse. And the mouse is good for a great many things – like reaction time or range of motion – but inline precision? That's not any of them. To wit, when trading blows with an opponent, you would often attack the wrong quadrant simply because your hand slipped.

KCD opponents also seem to fall into one of two categories: the first being peasants in a nightshirts who can't block to save their life and die after a single blow; and the remainder being an endless supply of master-at-arms, armored-types who not only shrug off multiple blows to the face like it's nothing, but also dodge, weave and riposte every other blow of yours like champion boxers and not, in fact, blokes wearing 20 kilos of armor. One-on-one, this makes for a tedious, frustrating experience. In a melee, such odds are oftentimes simply untenable.

The game also has an irritating habit of triggering riposte or dodge animations at really odd moments. Remember the insta-kill animations from Mass Effect 3's Banshees? It's like that — only more hilarious. During one tournament match, I barreled into my opponent, pushing him to his knees, and lunged-in with a body thrust only to see his shield arm shoot straight up backwards, like a spring-loaded stop sign, and block my attack with his face still staring at the ground. Seeing a man bent double block a blow he couldn't see coming was many things — but definitely not realistic.

Sometimes, the game would also ignore your attack altogether if you employed it when your opponent began his combo animation, leaving you watch your weapon pass through your opponent as he pummeled the bejeezus out of your poor, defenceless self.

If it seems like I'm going on at great length about the poor quality of the combat, it's only because combat is a pretty big part of an action RPG and – good narrative or not – if a game can't fulfill one of its core component, your enjoyment of it may be – shall we say – limited.

The other (atrocious) thing about KCD is its comprehensive suite of "survival" mechanics. As a rule, I am not a fan of these, seeing them squarely in the same category as roguelikes and permadeath: pointless activities that add nothing to the experience and exist solely to soak up play-time. KCD has a whole slew of them getting in the way of gameplay.

You have to feed Henry, make sure he gets enough sleep, tend to his wounds, repair his equipment (which, for forged steel, does seem to nearly fall apart after every minor skirmish; shoddy medieval craftsmanship, I guess); watch out your food doesn't spoil, meet deadlines, make sure your dog is happy... Honestly, if I wanted a long check list of obligatory actions that need to be performed regularly in order for me to survive, I would- Oh, wait: I have all of that — it's called living! It's the main reason I play games for relaxation...

The DLC

The game offers 6 official bits of DLC. If you're buying them piecemeal, get A Woman's Lot and The Amorous Adventures of Bold Sir Hans Capon – they expand the game's narrative for two of the lead characters and narrative (as we've established) is what KCD does best.

From the Ashes is kinda neat – letting you rebuild a village you liberate during the main plot – but, a few side activities aside (like pronouncing judgements and recruiting folks for the village), it doesn't really do anything else.

Tournament is free, but it's just more irritating combat (27 rounds, with 6 bouts each... that's a whole heap of irritation) for which you are rewarded with items you can find elsewhere in the game; Band of Bastards costs and has a bit more plot to it, but mostly focuses on group combat – the worst kind of combat there is in KCD.

Treasures of the Past is a set of armor in Warhorse Studio colors. It looks neat, but it's stats are meh, so there's really not much reason to get it, other than bragging rights, I suppose.

Conclusion

Overall, Kingdom Come: Deliverance is a great story, but only an average game. If you buy into the narrative (which is easy to do), you might manage to force your way through the experience, but keep in mind that a lot (if not most of it) will feel like work, with only a scant few nuggets of narrative bliss to look forward to.

Ironically, in making this game, I think Warhorse Studios accomplished their aim (though not in the way they intended): they created an experience that realistically portrays what it would be like to be an ordinary person in medieval Bohemia... And, true to form, the game they made is a nice place to visit – but you wouldn't want to live there.

Pig Recommends:

• if you do intend to play Kingdom Come, do yourself a favor and get a trainer (I recommend FLiNG) or mod to stop item deterioration; bundle that with the Unlimited Weight and Bow Dot Reticule mods (the former lets you carry as much stuff as you want, the latter actually lets you use the bow effectively without trying to remember how high above the second knuckle of your character's left hand the arrow will fly); between those three, the poor areas of the game become a bit more bearable (though, sadly, no mod exists to salvage the combat system);

• if (perhaps rightly) you'd prefer a medieval game that does the genre justice, try Mount & Blade 2: Bannerlord; it may not have much story, but it's a whole lot more fun than constantly patching your boots or using preservatives on mushrooms;